Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Goodbye, Auntie Nen. =(

Ford's 88-year-old aunt passed away yesterday (June 19, 2018 - Philippine time). She recently had a pacemaker insertion and we thought she'll be ok na. Kaso dahil medyo may edad na talaga, marami na ring ibang sakit ang dumapo sa kanya.

Auntie Nen is so special to my husband. She acted like his second mother when he was growing up kasi nga kasama nila sa bahay. She was his math teacher and mentor. Siya nga raw ang favorite among the nephews and nieces.

December 2016

If there's one thing I regret, it's that Nathan and I weren't able to visit her during our 5-month stay in Pinas. She was looking for Nathan daw. Kaso they live in Luna, La Union and I don't go there without Ford kasi nga ang layo. Hindi ko kayang dalhin ang bata doon mag-isa. Wala na rin kasing tao masyado sa probinsya, my immediate family-in-law are all based abroad. Kaya walang maga-aasikaso sa amin doon, given na may sakit na nga si Auntie Nen. Siya na lang kasi ang naiwan mag-isa sa ancestral house nila (with some helpers, of course).

Sayang nga, she passed away just merely 10-days after namin umalis ng Pinas. Sana nandoon kami to pay our last respects.

----------------

Anyway, my husband is in a dilemma. Uuwi ba siya ng Pilipinas o hindi? There's a part of him na gustong-gustong umuwi (lalo na at tinawag ang name niya bago mamatay nang makita pa namin sa Facetime), pero given our current situation, parang hindi feasible. Ang daming dapat i-consider eh:

BUDGET -- Ang mahal ng plane ticket na mabilisan. Mahina ang Ca$1,600 (o Php65,000) kung uuwi siya. Idagdag pa ang additional expenses like airport parking (for at least a week), expenses sa Pinas, contribution sa hospital bills and burial, etc. Aabutin siguro ng around Ca$3,000 (Php120,000). To be honest, dati madali lang sa aming gastusin ang ganyang amount. Pero dahil kabibili lang namin ng bahay at maraming naka-ambang gastos sa mgas susunod na buwan, malaki na iyon. Sobrang bigat, actually.

VACATION LEAVE -- Isa pa ito sa major concern kapag kailangang umuwi ng Pinas agad-agad -- may leave credits ka pa ba at/o papayagan ka ba ng boss/company mo? Sa case ni Ford, madali lang para sa kanya ang magpaalam (yung mga bosses na yata niya ang pinaka-compassionate employers sa mundo) pero he was alloting sana all his remaining leaves sa paglipat namin sa bahay. Medyo matagal din kasi maghakot at magsettle sa new house kaya kailangan niya umabsent ng matagal-tagal kasi wala naman kaming ibang aasahang tutulong sa amin. With a very clingy toddler, malamang siya lang ang gagawa ng bulk ng trabaho by that time.

By the way, may 3-day bereavement leave dito sa Canada pero it only applies to deaths of immediate family members eh.

LONG AND TIRING TRAVEL TIME -- We need at least 24-hours para makauwi sa Pinas (including na yung commuting time to/from airport, waiting times, plane rides, layovers, etc.). Mas matagal pa ang kakailanganin niya since sa La Union siya uuwi at malamang walang susundo sa kanya kasi nga nasa probinsya na lahat ng tao. So we're seeing na 3-4 whole days lang siya sa Pinas tapos babalik na sa Canada. Tapos back to work na rin agad. Talagang parusa sa katawan yun.

SOME FAMILY CONCERNS -- I am actually hesistant na payagan siyang umuwi kasi natatakot ako maiwan dito mag-isa with Nathan. I am useless here, if something happens, matutulala lang ako. I also feel so alone here, pakiramdam ko wala akong ibang maaasahan in case of emergency. Buti sana kung nasa Edmonton pa kami at maraming kaibigan. Saka physically, hindi ko kaya si Nathan mag-isa ng 24/7. By body is too weak at mentally, nakakabaliw kapag kaming dalawa lang. Kaya sobrang takot din ang asawa ko na iwan kami (haha) kasi kawawa daw ang anak niya dahil baka masigawan ko lang pag na-stress ako.

Pero dahil ayokong maging KJ, I told Ford that he could go. I told him that the decision is up to him. Tingin ko gusto nya rin umuwi dahil uuwi ang parents at sister niya from California. Yung brother niya from Qatar, nagpa-plano rin. Ang sabi ko lang sa kanya, timbangin niya nang maayos. Wag kakong magpa-peer pressure (lol) kasi iba-iba naman ang circumstances ng mga tao.

His grandmother passed away in May (2014) and he was able to decide to go home kaagad kasi nga madali that time. I was pregnant with Nathan that time at thankfully nasa second trimester na kaya I was feeling better. Tapos nasa Edmonton pa kami noon, marami kaming kaibigan na matatakbuhan. Wala ring problema sa budget kasi talagang settled na kami that time with a house na hindi kasing laki ang mortgage ng tulad ng magiging mortgage namin dito sa BC.

Hay, ito talaga ang isang malungkot when you are living abroad. Hindi ka basta-basta makakauwi kung may mga ganitong pangyayari. Naexperience ko na ito when my grandfather naman died in October 2014. I wasn't able to go home kasi nga manganganak na ako.

Anyway, whatever the husband decides, alam ko naman na maiintindihan yun ni Auntie Nen.

No comments:

Post a Comment