D-Day -- August 16, 2017

Hello! Yes, I am still alive.

I just have diabetes. *sigh

I'd probably never forget August 16, 2017 (aside from it being my BFF Raxie's birthday). It was my D-day, the day I learned that I have diabetes.

Parang deja vu. Three years ago (August 2014), I was diagnosed din with gestational diabetes.
Then three months after giving birth (February 2015), pre-diabetes naman. As I have said in my previous posts, ine-expect ko na rin naman na magkaka-diabetes ako. Both my parents are diabetic at napakalaking factor talaga ang family history sa pagkakaroon ng ganitong sakit.

It's just that I am only 37 years old (38 on August 27).

I only have myself to blame for this. I abused myself. I had a very unhealthy lifestyle. Despite the "warning" of pre-diabetes, I continued to eat a lot and live a "tamad" life. Di na rin ako bumalik uli sa family doctor namin sa Edmonton para magpa-check up. If I remember it correctly, they mailed me two laboratory requisition forms and I just ignored them. Sa isip ko, saka na lang. We were so busy then with our pending move here in BC kaya hindi ko siya pinriority. Tsk. Akala ko rin kasi mga 5-10 years pa bago mag-fullblown ang diabetes ko.

I also did not listen to my body and to those symptoms that I felt -- extreme fatigue/lack of energy, weight gain, frequent urination, blurred vision, numbness in my hands, frequent infection (UTI), many "low sugar" episodes.

Kaya nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi.

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The doctor was 'apologetic' when he told me the bad news. Diabetes is a lifelong disease so I would have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Again, I am only 37.

I honestly wasn't expecting him to tell me that I have diabetes. Ang dami dami ko ng inisip na pwedeng sakit ko because of my stomach pains, pero never nga nag-occur sa akin na diabetes ang sasabihin niya. Ang tagal ko na kasing may problema sa tummy. Almost two decades na siguro.

Kaya nung sinabi niya sa akin na, "I am sorry but you have diabetes," ang unang pumasok talaga sa isip ko ay "hay, buti hindi cancer."

Later na lang nagsink-in sa akin na ang hirap hirap magka-diabetes, forever na talaga ito.

After texting my husband, who of course was shocked as well, I cried. Umiyak ako dahil sa regrets. Umiyak ako dahil nga panghabambuhay ko ng dadalhin ang sakit na ito. Umiyak ako dahil siguradong nabawasan na ang buhay ko (kawawa naman ang asawa at anak ko). Umiyak ako para sa mga pagkaing di ko na pwedeng kainin. Umiyak ako para sa malaking pagbabagong ito sa buhay ko/namin.

After wallowing for just a few minutes, I calmed myself. Ayoko ng mag-dwell sa negative. Inisip ko na lang na hindi pa naman katapusan ng mundo. Hindi lang naman ako ang may diabetes. In fact, one niece of mine (daughter of my first cousin who is also diabetic) was also diagnosed last month, and she's only 29. We also have one employee in the Philippines who is the same age as me who has it. Manual pa ang trabaho nun ha, kaya sagana sa "exercise."

Ang sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, it's about time na rin naman na baguhin ko ang lifestyle at eating habits ko. At saka gusto ko ring pumayat kahit papano.

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So here I am today, feeling a little bit better than week ago. I've been instructed by my doctor to test my blood sugar every morning (after I wake up). He also prescribed Metformin and Glyburide for me to take. My numbers are good so far, kasi talagang on low carb diet na ako.

It isn't easy. Everyday is a struggle to get better. Ang daming adjustments and challenges. Pero sige lang, kakayanin.

I still have an ultrasound on September 9. I can feel na may ibang problema pa ako other than diabetes because my stomach is still not well. Sana naman hindi grabe. =(

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D-Day = Diabetes Diagnostic Day