D-Day -- August 16, 2017

Hello! Yes, I am still alive.

I just have diabetes. *sigh

I'd probably never forget August 16, 2017 (aside from it being my BFF Raxie's birthday). It was my D-day, the day I learned that I have diabetes.

Parang deja vu. Three years ago (August 2014), I was diagnosed din with gestational diabetes.
Then three months after giving birth (February 2015), pre-diabetes naman. As I have said in my previous posts, ine-expect ko na rin naman na magkaka-diabetes ako. Both my parents are diabetic at napakalaking factor talaga ang family history sa pagkakaroon ng ganitong sakit.

It's just that I am only 37 years old (38 on August 27).

I only have myself to blame for this. I abused myself. I had a very unhealthy lifestyle. Despite the "warning" of pre-diabetes, I continued to eat a lot and live a "tamad" life. Di na rin ako bumalik uli sa family doctor namin sa Edmonton para magpa-check up. If I remember it correctly, they mailed me two laboratory requisition forms and I just ignored them. Sa isip ko, saka na lang. We were so busy then with our pending move here in BC kaya hindi ko siya pinriority. Tsk. Akala ko rin kasi mga 5-10 years pa bago mag-fullblown ang diabetes ko.

I also did not listen to my body and to those symptoms that I felt -- extreme fatigue/lack of energy, weight gain, frequent urination, blurred vision, numbness in my hands, frequent infection (UTI), many "low sugar" episodes.

Kaya nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi.

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The doctor was 'apologetic' when he told me the bad news. Diabetes is a lifelong disease so I would have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Again, I am only 37.

I honestly wasn't expecting him to tell me that I have diabetes. Ang dami dami ko ng inisip na pwedeng sakit ko because of my stomach pains, pero never nga nag-occur sa akin na diabetes ang sasabihin niya. Ang tagal ko na kasing may problema sa tummy. Almost two decades na siguro.

Kaya nung sinabi niya sa akin na, "I am sorry but you have diabetes," ang unang pumasok talaga sa isip ko ay "hay, buti hindi cancer."

Later na lang nagsink-in sa akin na ang hirap hirap magka-diabetes, forever na talaga ito.

After texting my husband, who of course was shocked as well, I cried. Umiyak ako dahil sa regrets. Umiyak ako dahil nga panghabambuhay ko ng dadalhin ang sakit na ito. Umiyak ako dahil siguradong nabawasan na ang buhay ko (kawawa naman ang asawa at anak ko). Umiyak ako para sa mga pagkaing di ko na pwedeng kainin. Umiyak ako para sa malaking pagbabagong ito sa buhay ko/namin.

After wallowing for just a few minutes, I calmed myself. Ayoko ng mag-dwell sa negative. Inisip ko na lang na hindi pa naman katapusan ng mundo. Hindi lang naman ako ang may diabetes. In fact, one niece of mine (daughter of my first cousin who is also diabetic) was also diagnosed last month, and she's only 29. We also have one employee in the Philippines who is the same age as me who has it. Manual pa ang trabaho nun ha, kaya sagana sa "exercise."

Ang sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, it's about time na rin naman na baguhin ko ang lifestyle at eating habits ko. At saka gusto ko ring pumayat kahit papano.

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So here I am today, feeling a little bit better than week ago. I've been instructed by my doctor to test my blood sugar every morning (after I wake up). He also prescribed Metformin and Glyburide for me to take. My numbers are good so far, kasi talagang on low carb diet na ako.

It isn't easy. Everyday is a struggle to get better. Ang daming adjustments and challenges. Pero sige lang, kakayanin.

I still have an ultrasound on September 9. I can feel na may ibang problema pa ako other than diabetes because my stomach is still not well. Sana naman hindi grabe. =(

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D-Day = Diabetes Diagnostic Day

I am sick

I am sick. I haven't been feeling well for a couple of weeks now. I am scared, I can feel that this is something serious.

I actually went to a walk-in doctor already last July 24 for my stomach pain but I was told that I need a family doctor who could request tests for me. He just prescribed antibiotics because I suspected that I had UTI. They didn't even test me for it.

Since then, the state of my stomach has fluctuated. There were days that the pain is manageable, and there were times that I just wanted to die. I was actually hoping to get a Filipino family doctor so I was indecisive to go to the clinic near our place that accepts patients. But because I couldn't take the pain anymore last weekend, I promised myself I'll have myself checked. The hell with my fears, I have to get better.

August 14, 2017 (Monday). Bringing Nathan with me,  went to see the doctor after lunch. I was lucky he had no scheduled appointment that time so he was able to see me immediately.

He asked several questions and briefly examined my side stomach. He then handed me several papers and instructed me to have some blood works and ultrasound done. He also gave me a prescription for acid and gas pain.

I asked the receptionist on where the nearest laboratory is. Hay, I feel like starting all over again. I am already familiar with medical procedures in Edmonton, eto panibago na naman dito sa BC.

There's a lab at the back of Sheraton Hotel daw so I googled it if it's walkable. I wanted to finish my blood works as soon as possible. It was only a 13-minute walk (1.3km) daw so off we went.

It was sunny (but thankfully not that hot). While walking (and pushing the stroller), a lot of mixed thoughts have run in my mind.

Mamamatay na ba ako? Kawawa naman ang anak ko, ang liit pa niya.

Paano pag ooperahan ako? Paano na kami? Sino na mag-aalaga kay Nathan? Kelangan ko sigurong umuwi sa Pinas pag ganun.

Kawawa naman ako, naglalakad ako. Eh me sasakyan at nakakadrive ako sa Pinas. Hindi ako maglalakad sa initan doon.

Ano nga ba ginagawa ko dito sa Canada? Ba't nga ba ako napunta dito?

Sayang, sana nasa Edmonton na lang kami. Marami akong kaibigan doon na dadamay sa akin. 

Tsk, tutusukin na naman ako. Ang sakit nun. Di talaga ako masasanay sa tusok tusok na yan.

Sana Pinoy na lang ang doktor ko para mas ma-explain ko sa kanya ang dinaramdam ko.

Tiyak mahaba ang wait time sa ultrasound. Tsk, kung nasa Pinas ako tapos na agad ito at alam ko na agad ang results kasi nga Radiologist mismo ang pinsan ko. Siya na ang magu-ultrasound sa akin.

"Libre" nga ang health care dito sa Canada kaso pahirapan naman. Paras mas ok pa rin magkasakit sa Pilipinas kapag me pera ka.

Gusto kong umuwi sa Pilipinas. Gusto kong makasama ang Nanay ko.

I received a call from the doctor's office this morning. They now have my lab tests results and the doctors want to see me. I am going there in an hour.

I am so nervous. It's good that my good friends in Edmonton (Mylene and Joy) are cheering me up.

My ultrasound schedule is on September 9 pa. Ang tagal pa. :(

Better late than never

August 1, 2017. Ford handed me this postcard the moment he stepped in our apartment. I got confused. I was actually expecting a postcard from my BFF Raxie but not that soon (I just sent her my address the previous night).

When I looked into the postcard, it was indeed from Raxie (who else?). But the card's not from Japan (where she was that time) but from Chiang Mai, Thailand.

Huwhaaaat?!?!

I already thought that it could be one of the two postcards from Raxie that 'didn't make it.' But hello, that was two years ago! As in 2015 pa!

I checked on my IG posts and found this:

Itong Chiang Mai post card nga na dumating ang isa sa mga missing. Nakakaloka! Raxie sent it to my Edmonton address in August 2015 pa (I was vacationing in Pinas that time).

TWO YEARS LATE. Posible palang dumating pa ang letter/card after two years! Di ko talaga ma-reconcile sa utak ko haha. Even Raxie was so shocked! I have to idea kung kaninong 'fault' ba ito, sa Thailand o Canada Post. Oh well, better late than never.

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So how did this postcard still reach me now that we're living in BC?

I would have to commend my husband for subscribing to Canada Post's mail forwarding service. At first I didn't know na meron palang ganito. Pero dahil uso nga dito sa North America ang pamove-move ng tirahan/province, eto na nga.

My husband subscribed for a year and paid $104.25. It was a good decision because we didn't have to worry anymore about our incoming mails, especially those job-related ones (like T4 from previous employers, etc.).

I was very impressed with the service. Ang efficient kasi. We received our first redirected mail on October 5, 2016 (we arrived here on October 2).

Too bad our subscription is about to expire on September 28, 2017. So I have until that day to wait for the last missing postcard lol.

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By the way, I finally received the Japan Postcard the other day (August 9). It only took 8-9 days to arrive.

Thank you, my BFF Raxie, for always remembering me during your travels!

Save-The-Date

Yey, tuloy na tuloy na! Ford's vacation request has already been granted last Friday so we will be going to California again this November 4 to 14. Makakapag-birthday na rin si Nathan doon.

As I have mentioned on this post, Nathan will be having a Paw Patrol party at his grandparents' house in Moreno Valley. We are very excited! Sana lang maraming relatives ni Ford ang makapunta.

You just do not know

Five years ago na pala nang una akong makapunta dito sa British Columbia. I was newly married then and I vacationed in Edmonton for six months to be with my husband. I have an aunt in Surrey, BC so nag-long drive din papunta dun/dito.

Who would have thought that we will end up living here? Sometimes you don't really know where life would take you. Having already established a life in Edmonton, I really thought I'd spend the rest of my adult years there.

Up until now, I am still having mixed feelings on living here. I miss my friends in Edmonton and I miss having a house. The housing market here in Metro Vancouver is so crazy and buying a house now is very risky. I don't think I can fully settle here without my own place.

And to add up, the aunt, who I visited in 2012 and was very close to me, the original reason why I wanted to move here in BC, suddenly became a stranger. Things have happened in our family that lead to our drifting apart.

Wala talagang permanente sa mundo. You really can't hold onto something forever.

#CessieEats 5

1. Penoy. I found some raw penoy from Hen Long Market last Monday. Kelangan pang ilaga. Around Php45 ang isa. When I was in Pinas just a couple of months ago, na-addict din ako dito. Php11 lang ang isa, luto pa.

2. Take-Out Ulam. One Saturday lunch time, tinamad akong magluto. And because I woke up late, I asked the hubby to just buy some ulam at La Meza Grill. Sisig at Pork Bbque. Ayun dumaan pa pala siya to another Filipino restaurant to buy pinapaitan (Ilokano kasi siya).

To give you an idea of the cost of living here, ayan around Php800 na ang tatlong ulam na yan. Di pa kami satisfied kasi hindi naman kasarapan.

3. Red Delicious Apples. I don't eat apples. Hindi talaga ako kumakain ng fruits (except for some occasional bananas). Buti na lang kumakain ang anak ko. Pero ayaw niya ng ibang apples, itong red delicious apples lang (yep, red delicious apples talaga ang universal name nyan dito). Enjoy na enjoy ako kapag bumibili nito, kakatuwang pumili-pili.

4. Halloween Chocolates from Dollarama. Yey, it's back! Ang sarap nito, promise! Lasang Serg's Chocolates noong araw. Naaaddict na naman ako. I am glad Dollarama has started selling this na uli. $2 ito (plus 5% tax).

5.  Lucky Me Cup Noodles. Sometimes, you won't feel lucky even if you're eating Lucky Me. Ang konti ng laman, kainis! Kung kelan gutom na gutom ka pa talaga ha. Ang mahal pa naman nito dito.

6. Hot Pot at Home. Simula ng magtry kaming maghotpot sa bahay last Thanksgiving Day, madalas na kaming kumain nito. Kaso when I compute all the ingredients that we buy, nadidiscourage ako. Sobrang mahal inaabot. Mas mura pang mag-buffet na lang sa labas.

7.  Homemade Cakes. A new friend asked me to pick up a cake that she ordered for her son's 8th month birthday, malapit lang kasi dito sa amin. Na-impress ako sa presentation, ang ganda at mukhang masarap. Masarap nga raw, kahit asawa ko nasarapan. Di ko tinikman kasi nga ayaw ko ng mango cake.

I was able to talk to Shydee (the baker) and she asked me to like her FB page. Ang gaganda ng mga cakes nya. At super ganda ng reviews. I will be ordering a chocolate cake from her soon (either sa birthday ko o ni Ford). I am happy kasi may nadiscover akong ok na bilihan ng cake dito sa Surrey. Hindi pa mahal.

8. Hamonado ni Juris. I met with my new friends last week at nakapagtake-out ako ng hamonado. Ang sabi ng asawa ko masarap daw. Syempre sinabihan ko ang new friend ko. Ayun, dinalhan niya pa uli ako last Sunday nang magkita kami uli. I was really surprised. Ang thoughtful niya.

9.  T&T Food. We were at the Surrey Central City last week for my check-up. We ate at T&T kasi gutom na kami and we still have to wait for 45 minutes for my medicines.

Hay, hindi masarap. Mura nga kaso sayang pa rin ang pera. I won't eat there again. Namimiss ko tuloy ang T&T sa Edmonton kasi mas masarap ang pagkain dun.

Not so happy with happy meal

I am so bitter.

While they are enjoying these hello kitty happy meal toys in Pinas...

Picture taken from Instagram (@mcdo_ph)

... this is what we've got:

Honestly, what will kids do with these small plushies? May emojis na rin silang nirelease dito last year. Parehas din, iba lang ang characters.

Hay, the Philippines always gets the best toys. Always! Kung kelan wala na ako doon at may anak na akong dapat bilhan. Grrr, nakaka-bitter talaga.

For sure maiipon ko rin ang mga emojis na ito. No choice eh, mas mura ang happy meal kesa regular meal eh. Di ko rin type ang next toys ng nila, NERF daw. Di ako familiar kaya ginoogle ko. Pangit. =(

Buti na lang masayahin ang anak ko. Naka-smile pa rin kasi bored siya sa toy lol.

Nowhere to go

We are planning to go to Portland, Oregon this coming long weekend (August 5-7). Unlike in Pinas na sangkatutak ang holidays, konting-konti lang ang mga araw na walang pasok dito sa Canada kaya dapat samantalahin.

Since it's summer, for sure everyone would go camping. Mapupuno ang mga parks and camping sites. Kaya sa US na lang sana kami maglo-long drive. Portland is approximately 4 hours away lang. Balak namin mag-stay there for two nights.

Ang kaso, sobrang init naman pala. I am sure hindi namin kakayanin ang any outdoor activity kung ganyan ang temperature. Ngayon pa nga lang eh hindi na kami lumalabas sa airconditioned room kasi init na init talaga kami.

So now, we have nowhere to go. And I am sad. Kung kelan nasa pasyal-mode pa naman ako. Napag-usapan kasi naming mag-asawa a couple of days ago na gawin na ang mga dapat gawin. Puntahan na ang mga dapat puntahan, kasi baka di mo na magawa. Just like last year, when we were still living in Edmonton. Gusto naming magcrossborder to Montana pero hindi namin pinursue. Ayan, wala na tuloy chance kasi malayo na kami dun ngayon.

Now that we are here in BC, naisip naming puntahan na lahat ng malapit. Kasi who knows, baka bumalik uli kami sa Edmonton haha.

But how can we travel in this weather? Lahat ng lugar mainit. Parang sa Pinas lang, never akong umaalis kapag summer.

I really do not want to waste this precious long weekend. Bahala na nga kung saan mapunta.

Mocha Drizzle

One of my addictions in life is Starbucks' mocha frappucino. I am not a coffee drinker. Hindi rin ako mahilig sa ibang matatamis na beverages. Basta mocha frappucino lang ang gusto ko from Starbucks. Sa Pinas noon halos araw-araw bumibili ako nito, kaya naman grabe itinaba ko lol.

Anyway, when I came here in Canada, nabawasan na ang pagkatakam ko. Kasi ba naman ang tabang ng frappucino nila dito! Oh well, sa lahat naman ng bansang napuntahan ko eh natabangan ako sa frappucino. Iba talaga ang lasa sa Pinas, masarap talaga. Biased nga siguro ako (kasi sanay ako sa frapp ng Pinas) but my friends have the same opinion din eh. Kaya nga I consider Starbucks as one of my big sacrifices din sa pag-migrate ko dito lol.

But aside from the taste, I also noticed na di naglalagay ng chocolate syrup (they call it mocha sauce) ang mga barista sa may whipped cream. Ang corny di ba? Pero may ilang stores (konti lang as in) na naglalagay din naman. Basta in general, wala talaga.

Sometimes, when the baristas aren't busy, I would ask them to put some syrup on my frappucino. Then I would see shock on their faces. Weird ba talaga yun?

The last time I asked a barista, he told me to request it at the counter the next time I order. Ang sungit naman.

Eh di ginawa ko na nga. Ayun, "special order" with matching label sticker pa talaga. At "mocha drizzle" ang tawag.

Trust me, the drizzle makes a lot of difference in taste. Plus I learned that you have to actually mix the whipped cream to the beverage for it to taste better (dati kasi hindi ko hinahalo, kasi nga there's so much calories on the whipped cream di ba). Kaya ngayon masarap-sarap na ang frappucino dito sa panlasa ko.

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Oops, another thing I learned din nga pala sa Starbucks dito, if you want water, tell it in advance. Sabihin mo kasabay ng pag-order mo, or else pipila ka uli. Some stores are generous sa cups, ilalagay talaga nila sa cup ng frappucino with lid pa.