First Day of Fall 2020

It's the first day of fall! Ang bilis talaga ng araw grabe!

 Autumn is actually my favorite season. Cooler temperature, gorgeous colors of the leaves on trees, pumpkin patches, Thanksgiving, Halloween -- what is there not to love about fall? There's also no fall in the Philippines so this season is something (still) new to me, hence the unexplainable excitement.

But this particular year, the transition to fall has given me mixed feelings. Parang nalungkot ako. Parang biglang nag-worry. Well maybe because we had so much fun last summer with our new-found friends kaya I felt bad na natapos na. For the past weeks, medyo nakalimutan na rin kasi namin ang Covid-19. Nawala ang takot, medyo naging complacent. Our kids had so much fun outdoors. Nathan got so good at biking.

But now we are faced with uncertainty once more. Covid cases are rising (we are on the second wave na raw), children are back at school, flu season na rin. Hay, indoor life na naman. Tapos baka magspread lalo ang coronavirus dahil sa cold air. Tsk.

I am choosing to be optimistic. It was winter when we first heard of Covid-19 (then called NCOV). We surpassed spring and summer well, sana ganun din this fall. Winter will surely be harder, pero at least after that may natatanaw na tayong pag-asa na matapos na ang pandemic na ito. I really can't wait for things to go back to the way they were.

Walang Forever

We used to live in a place where there's snow six months (almost) in a year. Hence, I've taken it for granted. Wala akong masyadong pictures sa snow, feeling ko kasi 'nandyan lang yan,' makakasama ko forever.

The last time I wore these boots was three years ago.

Who would have thought na lilipat kami in this part of Canada that seldom gets snow. In fact, nitong February 3 lang kami unang nagka-snow this winter season. Natunaw agad. Tapos last Sunday (February 10) lang uli naulit. Kaya sabik na sabik talaga kami.

Tsk, wala talagang forever. Kaya dapat seize the day na talaga. Huwag ng ipagpabukas ang magagawa naman sa ngayon. Because you'll never really know where life will take you.

Goodbye, Old Casa Blanco.

Now that we're moving to a new home, my husband told me: "O ayan makaka-move on ka na sa dati nating bahay." 

Admittedly, whenever I feel depressed kasi with our current living situation, palaging yung dati naming townhouse ang bukang-bibig ko. Hindi nga talaga ako maka-move on. Half of my heart wanted to go back to Edmonton, where we can afford an even bigger dwelling (yung hindi lang townhouse). Hanggang wala kaming bagong bahay sa BC, feeling ko hindi pa kami talaga taga-doon.

Ngayon I can finally say goodbye to our old house. Our first home in Canada.

Ang since it's throwback Thursday, allow me to post pictures of our Edmonton townhome. Para na rin may reference kami someday. Saka para makita ni Nathan later on (since this blog is my personal diary/journal na rin).

These were the official photos used by our Realtor in selling the house. He commissioned a professional photographer to take the shots. We decluttered the house syempre before the photoshoot kaya ganyan.

FRONT EXTERIOR. Ours was an end unit.

FRONT DOOR. Bad daw sa Feng Shui ang stairs facing the door, kaso naisip ko hindi naman kami Intsik haha. 

LIVING ROOM. We had a very spacious living room. It's good though that I wasn't able to put up yet the photo frames that I was collating for that huge blank wall.

Yes, I love white. Our new place will be white again.

DINING AREA. That bench will always be memorable to us haha. It cost us $900, would you believe?

KITCHEN. It might be 'small' but I learned to cook from there.

POWDER ROOM. I loved this room. It was so big.

MASTER BEDROOM.  Our first room as a family.

The door on the right side was for the closet. 

MASTER BATHROOM. It wasn't that big but the size was just perfect for me.

GUEST ROOM. Several visitors have stayed in this room in less than three years that we lived in that house.

MY "ME" ROOM. My favorite place in that house. I was thankful to the husband for giving this to me.

That white couch is a bed, too.

MAIN BATHROOM. This was Nathan's.

BALCONY. This big balcony compensated for our lack of backyard.

I will always remember lots of barbecue sessions that took place here.

GARAGE. It was deep and spacious.

BACK EXTERIOR. Simple but functional.

Now it's really time to move forward. Wag nga raw dapat magpaka-attached sa bahay sa North America kasi hindi naman yan forever sa iyo o sa pamilya mo. Pero sadyang senti lang talaga akong tao siguro.

In the coming months, about New Casa Blanco na ang ipo-post ko. Excited na ako.

Senti

We were in UP Town Center yesterday to meet up with my girls (i.e. my college barkada and my core group).

We went to Daiso to Daiso after coffee. I finished shopping first so I waited (together with Michelle) for my other friends to finish theirs. I looked around and observed. Oh how I love this mall. Too bad it was built right after I migrated to Canada.

Then sadness suddenly engulfed me. I told Michelle: "Nakakalungkot din. Dati taga-dito ako, ito ang mundo ko. Ngayon nagbabakasyon na lang ako sa Pinas, limited lang ang oras ko."

 Ewan ko ba, na-senti talaga ako.

#BuhayImmigrant

It's been a year

I love the app TIMEHOP. Senti kasi akong tao. This app helps me remember what exactly happened to my life on each exact day of the previous years. Kaya nga as much as possible, I want to post on time (or on date sa IG) para tama ang reckoning.

Anyway, Timehop reminded me awhile ago that on September 21 last year, Ford drove to BC to bring all our things there.

It wasn't easy to pack a house. We only lived in that townhouse for 2 years and 8 months but we've accumulated quite a lot. Blame it to the shopaholic wife.

We were grateful because my parents-in-law came over for a week to help us out. Ang galing galing ng daddy ni Ford magligpit. We never would have made it without him. At 70+ he is still strong.

Ford rented a big truck and he was the one who drove it all the way to Surrey. Normally, 13-14 hours ang driving time, longer kapag truck/commercial vehicle syempre. May driver's log eh, hindi dapat mag-exceed sa 13 hours yata ang accumulated driving time in a day so kelangan huminto.

To be honest, I was so worried that time. Ang laki-laki kasi ng truck, kaya ba ng asawa ko? My husband is a very good driver (I wouldn't have married him if he's not, seriously), but it was his first time to drive a truck like that. Ang haba pa ng biyahe. But it would cost us a fortune naman kung magha-hire kami ng professional movers.

I really prayed hard na makabalik sila nang maayos. Kasama niya rin kasi ang parents niya sa biyahe eh. Naiwan kami ni Nathan sa Edmonton.

They brought all our stuff in a storage. Ang mahal nun ha. We had to rent a really big one kasi we could only move to our new apartment by October 1 pa. Kaya instead na direcho na sa new place namin, sa storage muna. Kaya naghakot pa uli kami pagdating namin sa Surrey.

It took them one day to unload everything. They slept in a motel for two nights.

Thankfully, they were back on the night of September 23. Sobra-sobrang nakahinga na talaga ako noon.

Usung-uso dito ang mga ganyang rental moving trucks kasi nga usung-uso rin dito ang pagmo-move. Those who couldn't drive have to hire a driver, of course. Ang mahal nun for sure.

Just last night, we saw in the news that a couple from New Brunswick hired a professional mover to transport their things to Vancouver. When the driver stopped in Abbotsford to transfer the things in a smaller truck, ayun nawala yung truck. The abandoned truck was found after some time but all the things were gone. I really feel bad for the couple. Sure, may insurance, pero syempre hindi naman nun mapapalitan yung ibang mga gamit na may sentimental value. Maloloka siguro ako kung sa amin nangyari yun! Masyado nga kasi akong attached sa mga gamit ko eh.

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Browsing through last year's pictures made me sad again. Naalala ko pa kasi ang pakiramdam noong nagpa-pack na kami ng gamit. Ang lungkot-lungkot.

Halos lahat ng gamit namin ay bago pa kaya hindi ko naging option na ibenta nang mura o ipamigay. Hindi ko talaga naisip na aalis kami kaagad sa bahay na yun.

Ang sabi ni Ford hindi raw ako maka-move on. True. Palagi kong naaalala ang Secord house namin. Siguro kasi nga hanggang ngayon wala pa rin kaming bagong bahay and most of our things are still in the storage. I miss having space. I miss having a place to decorate and to love again.

Ford and I have agreed to buy a new place by the second quarter of next year. Nathan and I are going home to the Philippines on January to April so we'll start scouting for a house pagbalik namin. Well, that depends pa rin pala kasi Ford is eyeing on a new townhouse na pre-construction. We'll see. Pero basta I am so looking forward to moving to our new home next year.

You just do not know

Five years ago na pala nang una akong makapunta dito sa British Columbia. I was newly married then and I vacationed in Edmonton for six months to be with my husband. I have an aunt in Surrey, BC so nag-long drive din papunta dun/dito.

Who would have thought that we will end up living here? Sometimes you don't really know where life would take you. Having already established a life in Edmonton, I really thought I'd spend the rest of my adult years there.

Up until now, I am still having mixed feelings on living here. I miss my friends in Edmonton and I miss having a house. The housing market here in Metro Vancouver is so crazy and buying a house now is very risky. I don't think I can fully settle here without my own place.

And to add up, the aunt, who I visited in 2012 and was very close to me, the original reason why I wanted to move here in BC, suddenly became a stranger. Things have happened in our family that lead to our drifting apart.

Wala talagang permanente sa mundo. You really can't hold onto something forever.

I miss Edmonton.

Tama sila, mas maaappreciate mo ang isang tao o bagay pag wala na siya sa iyo.

Picture taken by my friend Bonivie and posted in her FB account)

Oh how I badly miss Edmonton and all its winter beauty! Kung makakabalik lang sana talaga kami. =(

Missing Casa Blanco

It's exactly two weeks now since we bid goodbye to our very first home. I started crying the moment we left and closed the garage door for the last time.

I wasn't that sad when I left our house in Pinas, kasi alam ko bahay ko pa rin naman iyon. Makakabalik pa ako anytime. Sa Unit 99, hindi na.

September 30, 2016

We  only lived in that house for 2 years and 8 months but we've built quite a lot of good memories there. I was still in the Philippines when Ford "bought" it. Pre-construction. Lumipat kami two months after I immigrated here in Canada. I felt so lucky and blessed. Imagine pagdating ko may bahay na agad ako.

Ford gave me the full privilege of decorating it, of turning it how I wanted it to be. Noon ko unang na-experience maging "wife" talaga.

It was truly a lucky home for us. Imagine, in less than three weeks of living there, nag-conceive na ako. That house witnessed how we became a 'family.'

Oh, and we've had quite a lot of house guests in less than three years that we stayed there. Lalong sumaya ang bahay namin.

 

Pero sabi nga nila, walang forever. Lalo na sa bahay dito sa Canada. Don't get too attached daw, kasi unlike sa Pinas, normal ang pagpalit-palit ng bahay dito o pag-move. 

When we had Nathan, we planned on getting a 'bigger' house din naman eventually. A 'small' laned home with a basement would be perfect, we thought. We will need kasi a bigger space for Nathan's stuff. Tapos November pa ang birthday niya, indoor parties lang ang puwede kasi nga 'winter' na.

But things happen and we had to leave Casa Blanco sooner than we expected. Kelangan na kasi naming lumipat ng lugar. Hay, if only we could bring our house with us! =(

huling sulyap

And so here I am, watching the heavy rains outside -- badly missing Unit 99. It might take time bago ako makamove-on. Siguro kapag may bagong Casa Blanco na uli. Right now, we are renting a one-bedroom apartment and most of our stuff are in the storage. Pag nakapag-settle na kami talaga dito sa BC, sana makabili na uli. Sobrang mahal nga lang ng mga bahay dito so we might end up in a condo. I don't care, I just want to have my own house again.

We love you, Casa Blanco. You'll always have a special place in our hearts.

Someday...

I saw this picture when I looked for some wedding photos that I'll post for our 4th wedding anniversary. It was actually just taken last July 2012 in Jasper (also here in Alberta). Ford and I were newly married and I came here in Canada for a six-week visit.

Seeing this picture made me realize that there are lots of things that I cannot do now. Traveling is one.

I have to admit that I've been depressed lately. You see, my life at this moment is clearly non-enviable. All I do everyday is take care of Nathan. Not that I am complaining. I know that I am privileged to have the chance to be with my son all the time, that we can still afford to live here comfortably despite my not working. But I've really never imagined myself being in this situation ever.

You see, I am like a prisoner in my own home. It's winter time so Nathan and I couldn't go out without my husband. Unfortunately, Ford accepted a part-time job when we were in the Philippines (because of boredom) and I couldn't anymore convince him to quit. He works until 10pm on weekdays (he requested for a MWF schedule but it has yet to be put into effect). So from Monday to Friday, I spend 12 hours watching over Nathan and the remaining hours doing house chores (and sleeping). I hardly have time to do craft or blog. Weekends are busy as well. We have to squeeze all our errands and other chores into two days.

I am not a domestic type. I really am not happy with just staying home. I am just doing it because I have to. Because we are in Canada. That's probably the reason why I am still half-hearted in living here. Life in the Philippines is so much easier, domestic-wise. Plus I have mobility there.

Here in Canada, I am fully dependent on my husband. On everything. Whatever happened to the independent and smart Ces?

This is not me. A lot of people used to look up to me, including my husband. I was this pretty (and sexy) UP Professor who's got so much potential. Everyone admired me. Ngayon ako na lang si Ces na asa sa asawa. Napag-iiwanan na ako, yun ang totoo.

When I am feeling bad, I always reason that my life 'deteriorated' because I am now in Canada. Totoo rin naman. I have a one-year old child that I need to take care of. Most mothers here with young children stay at home. Pero sino bang niloloko ko? I have chosen the path of laziness and complacency kaya ganito ako ngayon.

I know that my life has to change or our family life would suffer. I can't be a good wife and mother if I am not happy.

Yesterday, I told Ford that I want to get a driver's license already. It's my first step toward independence. I have to overcome my fear of driving here. Haler, I've been driving in Manila since I was 18, how difficult could driving here be? 

I will be living in Canada for the rest of my life so I better be good. I better stop using motherhood as an excuse for a lousy lifestyle. I am only 36, I can still do so much more.

And oh, I WILL TRAVEL AGAIN. Someday. Hopefully soon. (I have to keep this in mind for extra drive. But of course, I will bring the husband and the son with me!).

One month to go!

At around this time next month, nasa Pinas (hopefully) na kami ni Nathan!

Photo taken from the net (credits to the owner)

To be honest, I am having mixed feelings. Of course, what prevails is happiness and excitement. Yet there's a part of me that's sad. Nathan and I will be in the Philippines for 4 1/2 months so maiiwan si Daddy Pod nang matagal-tagal. He will just be following us on November 13 (for Nathan's binyag and first birthday) and then sabay na kaming babalik dito sa Canada.

Ford and I have been literally inseparable since November 2013 at parang di ko na yata alam ang buhay without him haha! So ironic actually because we've been in LDR for eleven years before we lived in together.

Also, I am specifically worried about Nathan. He's so attached to his dad, parang kawawa siya kung hindi niya makikita ang daddy niya for four months. Ford will also miss a lot of his milestones. Hay!

Oh well, I don't want to dwell on the negative anymore. I'd like to be fully happy kasi after 1 year at 8 months, makakasama ko na uli ang nanay ko. I miss her so much! Looking back, parang hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na nabuhay ako nang wala siya sa tabi ko. I am so excited din na makita at mayakap niya si Nathan.

Ahh! One more month!

Makikita ko na uli ang pamilya at mga kaibigan ko.
Matitikman ko na uli ang luto ng nanay ko.
Makakakain na ako nang hindi nagluluto at naghuhugas ng pinggan.
Makakatulog na uli ako sa kuwarto ko (miss na miss ko na ang walk-in closet ko!).
Makakapag-drive na uli ako.
Makakapag-motor na uli ako.
Makakatambay na uli ako sa SM Marilao.
Makakakain na uli ako ng Jollibee at sa iba pang favorite fast food restos ko.
Makakapagshopping na uli ako on my own.

But unlike before, may limitations na ako because of Nathan. When I left the Philippines last November 2013, I was literally a 'free gal.' Kaso ngayong may baby na, mahirap ng lumabas. Nathan is afraid of people eh, talagang kami lang ni Ford ang kilala niya. I can't just leave him to any one, iiyak talaga.

Hay, saka ko na nga iisipin. Basta ang importante, makakauwi na ako. I badly need to recharge na talaga eh.

See you next month, Pilipinas kong mahal!

One year ago today...

One year ago today...

November 5, 2013 (Philippine Time) @ NAIA Terminal 2 

I left the the Philippines with a heavy heart. It was so painful leaving my mother...  and the life I had for more than 34 years...

I had to go though... to be with my husband who has long been waiting for me...

Oh how time flies! I still couldn't believe it that a year has already passed. I admit, I am not yet fully adjusted. But I am getting there.

Missing Royal Star

I received an email today from someone offering us a livery for our bus fleet.

credits to the picture's owner

credits to the picture's owner

I regretfully informed him though that we already sold our city bus (EDSA) franchise last November 2012 pa.

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I suddenly missed Royal Star. My family started the bus business in December 1995 and life has become better since then. Those buses gave us a truly comfortable living and we will forever be grateful.

However, some good things have to end. After seventeen years of operation, we finally decided to sell our franchise because we couldn't take the "EDSA pressure" anymore. I was already married that time and was about to migrate in Canada already. We thought it's best to focus na lang on our more lucrative company, Roadlink Travel and Tours (which operates tourist buses naman).

Now how can I even forget Royal Star when the color scheme of Edmonton Transit System (ETS) is similar to our fleet?

Our very first bus actually looked quite similar to this.

Madalas pag nasa kalsada ako, I am secretly wishing na sana may dumaan na Royal Star o Roadlink at sasakay ako haha!

On Goodbyes and Hellos

We had to say goodbye to Ford today. A highly sentimental person that I am, I wanted to cry. It wasn't easy leaving "Truckito" behind, we just had to. It was my hubby's first vehicle here in Canada. They've been together for more than three years - in the heat of summer and in thickness of the snow. But we had to let it go because our 'growing' family needs a different car. We would have kept it if not for the high costs of insurance here.

We will miss you so much, Truckito! You were the one who first welcomed me here in Canada. You brought us to so many places. You accompanied us in our new home, carrying all our stuff and loots. We will never forget you. Hope they'll find you a nice new owner who'll take care of you like what Pod did.

With goodbyes comes hellos.

After bidding farewell to Truckito, we said hello to Subaru. We waited for more than six weeks to get it.

This car is also special to us because it's the first that we bought as a married couple. It will also serve as reckoning for Chicklet's birth. We'll have plenty of good family memories in it. I really am wishing it will serve us well, for we intend to keep it for a very long time.

Oops, I bought a Pandora car charm nga pala to commemorate Subaru's arrival into our lives.

Missing the girls

I am turning 35 in four days. This will be the first time (since college) I'm celebrating my birthday without my girls.

My 33rd birthday celebration @ Red Box Trinoma (August 27, 2012)

I miss them so much! And I need them, especially with all the big changes happening in my life right now. Oh how I wish they're just here beside me!

I've been living a relatively 'friendless' (in the profound sense of the word) existence here in Edmonton ever since I moved. It's not easy, as I am used to having long quality talks over Starbucks coffee with these ladies. It was painful leaving them, I am telling you.

Hay, birthday jitters!

Will miss traveling...

I finally received yesterday the Maldives postcard that Raxie sent me last month...

Oh, how I miss Raxie! And I miss our travels, too!

My BFF Raxie's been my constant travel buddy since we were out from college. We've been to many places, experienced many things together. Last August, for my last hurray before I migrated, we went to Iloilo-Bacolod-Guimaras to celebrate our birthday. She even came back to Pinas (she's currently based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) just to travel with me. I love her to bits!

How time flies! From being a carefree single gal, I am now traveling to a different path - motherhood. Raxie, on the other hand, is having the time of her life. With a good career and disposable money, she can continue going places!

I am so looking forward to traveling with Raxie again, but I know it won't be easy. With Chicklet now present in my life, I am not as free as before. I also am not working (blame it to Chicklet again haha!) so budget will be a concern. With mortgages and other bills continuously coming in, expensive travels won't be a priority as of now.

I guess I just have to contented with what I have. I'll just wait for more postcards (and ref magnets) that Raxie will be sending me haha!

Thanks again for this, Raxie! Travel more! I'd be with you in spirit! :)

Bye, Old SPCB!

It's just sad seeing those old structures go.

Picture taken from a classmate's FB account. Credits to her.

Especially if you've spent so much of your childhood there.

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I am thankful though that I had a last glimpse of it last November 1, 2013 (before I left for Canada). Salamat din at napicturan ko.

Old elementary building of St. Paul College of  Bocaue

The next time I go back there, parking lot na lang ito ng simbahan.

I guess there are things that we have to let go. After all, the only constant thing in this world is change.