To return or not to return?

My friend Juris called me this noon, asking if I will allow Nathan to go back to school this June 1. She got a call daw kasi from her daughter's school, nagtatanong na daw kung papapasukin si Zoey.

Hay, I don't know! I was actually surprised when they announced last May 15 that BC schools will already "open" this June, but attendance is voluntary.

March 13 pa huling pumasok sa school sina Nathan. Last day talaga yun ng school before their two-week spring break. Pero yun nga, hindi na sila nakabalik ng March 30. Nagtuloy-tuloy na na walang pasok because of this pandemic.

I was so heart-broken. Nathan's in kindergarten at first time nyang school (no preschool). He really enjoyed it so much. Tapos yun nga, na-cut short bigla. Six months pa lang siyang pumapasok tapos wala na uli.

After some time, natanggap ko na rin na hindi na nga sila makakabalik this school year. Malungkot but we have to move on. Lahat naman apektado ng Covid-19 at kailangang mag-adjust.

Kung kelan naman nga ok na, saka naman sasabihing pwede na silang bumalik uli sa school, albeit twice a week lang.  Waaah, binigyan pa kaming mga magulang ng problema! Paano na nga ba?

Kung tutuusin, hanggang June 25 na lang naman talaga ang school year so ilang araw na lang din silang papasok. Many parents tuloy are mocking the BC Government, bakit papapasukin pa kung matatapos na lang din?  Ako naman, there's part of me that wanted closure for my son's kindergarten class. I still want him to spend time with his teacher and (some) classmates. He's bored na rin dito sa bahay and he really wants to go back to school. I also feel na hindi naman siya talaga nakakapag-aral nang maayos dito sa bahay via remote learning (I'll write our experiences about this in a separate post) kaya mas ok kung pumasok na lang siya uli.

Pero hindi nga ganun kadali, di ba? We are still in the middle of a pandemic, hindi pa rin nawawala ang virus. We're lucky kasi hindi ganun kalala ang Covid cases dito sa BC (only 2,467 cases and 149 deaths as of today) and na-flatten na nga raw ang curve, pero syempre hindi mawawala ang fear. Pababayaan ko bang mag-isa na lang sa eskuwelahan ang limang taong gulang kong anak samantalang nandito lang naman ako sa bahay? Health and safety is our utmost priority syempre.

Hay, Juris and I still have ten days to think about it. Kayo, ano sa tingin nyo? :(

Goodbye, Auntie Nen. =(

Ford's 88-year-old aunt passed away yesterday (June 19, 2018 - Philippine time). She recently had a pacemaker insertion and we thought she'll be ok na. Kaso dahil medyo may edad na talaga, marami na ring ibang sakit ang dumapo sa kanya.

Auntie Nen is so special to my husband. She acted like his second mother when he was growing up kasi nga kasama nila sa bahay. She was his math teacher and mentor. Siya nga raw ang favorite among the nephews and nieces.

December 2016

If there's one thing I regret, it's that Nathan and I weren't able to visit her during our 5-month stay in Pinas. She was looking for Nathan daw. Kaso they live in Luna, La Union and I don't go there without Ford kasi nga ang layo. Hindi ko kayang dalhin ang bata doon mag-isa. Wala na rin kasing tao masyado sa probinsya, my immediate family-in-law are all based abroad. Kaya walang maga-aasikaso sa amin doon, given na may sakit na nga si Auntie Nen. Siya na lang kasi ang naiwan mag-isa sa ancestral house nila (with some helpers, of course).

Sayang nga, she passed away just merely 10-days after namin umalis ng Pinas. Sana nandoon kami to pay our last respects.

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Anyway, my husband is in a dilemma. Uuwi ba siya ng Pilipinas o hindi? There's a part of him na gustong-gustong umuwi (lalo na at tinawag ang name niya bago mamatay nang makita pa namin sa Facetime), pero given our current situation, parang hindi feasible. Ang daming dapat i-consider eh:

BUDGET -- Ang mahal ng plane ticket na mabilisan. Mahina ang Ca$1,600 (o Php65,000) kung uuwi siya. Idagdag pa ang additional expenses like airport parking (for at least a week), expenses sa Pinas, contribution sa hospital bills and burial, etc. Aabutin siguro ng around Ca$3,000 (Php120,000). To be honest, dati madali lang sa aming gastusin ang ganyang amount. Pero dahil kabibili lang namin ng bahay at maraming naka-ambang gastos sa mgas susunod na buwan, malaki na iyon. Sobrang bigat, actually.

VACATION LEAVE -- Isa pa ito sa major concern kapag kailangang umuwi ng Pinas agad-agad -- may leave credits ka pa ba at/o papayagan ka ba ng boss/company mo? Sa case ni Ford, madali lang para sa kanya ang magpaalam (yung mga bosses na yata niya ang pinaka-compassionate employers sa mundo) pero he was alloting sana all his remaining leaves sa paglipat namin sa bahay. Medyo matagal din kasi maghakot at magsettle sa new house kaya kailangan niya umabsent ng matagal-tagal kasi wala naman kaming ibang aasahang tutulong sa amin. With a very clingy toddler, malamang siya lang ang gagawa ng bulk ng trabaho by that time.

By the way, may 3-day bereavement leave dito sa Canada pero it only applies to deaths of immediate family members eh.

LONG AND TIRING TRAVEL TIME -- We need at least 24-hours para makauwi sa Pinas (including na yung commuting time to/from airport, waiting times, plane rides, layovers, etc.). Mas matagal pa ang kakailanganin niya since sa La Union siya uuwi at malamang walang susundo sa kanya kasi nga nasa probinsya na lahat ng tao. So we're seeing na 3-4 whole days lang siya sa Pinas tapos babalik na sa Canada. Tapos back to work na rin agad. Talagang parusa sa katawan yun.

SOME FAMILY CONCERNS -- I am actually hesistant na payagan siyang umuwi kasi natatakot ako maiwan dito mag-isa with Nathan. I am useless here, if something happens, matutulala lang ako. I also feel so alone here, pakiramdam ko wala akong ibang maaasahan in case of emergency. Buti sana kung nasa Edmonton pa kami at maraming kaibigan. Saka physically, hindi ko kaya si Nathan mag-isa ng 24/7. By body is too weak at mentally, nakakabaliw kapag kaming dalawa lang. Kaya sobrang takot din ang asawa ko na iwan kami (haha) kasi kawawa daw ang anak niya dahil baka masigawan ko lang pag na-stress ako.

Pero dahil ayokong maging KJ, I told Ford that he could go. I told him that the decision is up to him. Tingin ko gusto nya rin umuwi dahil uuwi ang parents at sister niya from California. Yung brother niya from Qatar, nagpa-plano rin. Ang sabi ko lang sa kanya, timbangin niya nang maayos. Wag kakong magpa-peer pressure (lol) kasi iba-iba naman ang circumstances ng mga tao.

His grandmother passed away in May (2014) and he was able to decide to go home kaagad kasi nga madali that time. I was pregnant with Nathan that time at thankfully nasa second trimester na kaya I was feeling better. Tapos nasa Edmonton pa kami noon, marami kaming kaibigan na matatakbuhan. Wala ring problema sa budget kasi talagang settled na kami that time with a house na hindi kasing laki ang mortgage ng tulad ng magiging mortgage namin dito sa BC.

Hay, ito talaga ang isang malungkot when you are living abroad. Hindi ka basta-basta makakauwi kung may mga ganitong pangyayari. Naexperience ko na ito when my grandfather naman died in October 2014. I wasn't able to go home kasi nga manganganak na ako.

Anyway, whatever the husband decides, alam ko naman na maiintindihan yun ni Auntie Nen.

Camera dilemma

I thought I'd never (badly) want a camera again --- well not until the super blue blood moon phenomenon last January 31.

That day, I went to SM Marilao in the afternoon and when I came home and it's dark already, I got mesmerized with the beauty of the moon. Ang ganda grabe. My very first impulse was to take a picture syempre (because I love documenting and preserving memories through pictures) kaso hindi kaya ng phone camera ko (I am using iPhone 6 Plus).

Later that night, nung nag-red na ang moon, naisip ko: "Bakit nga ba wala akong maayos-ayos na camera?"

You see, I first had a digital camera in December 2001. Binili ko from my 13th month pay (parang Php12k yata). It was a Sony and it really served me well. Ako ang naging official photographer ng barkada. I was able to document all events, lagi ko nga kasing dala. I've had several other digicams after that, the last was a Canon Powershot G3 which was given to me by my then-fiance Ford. I brought it with me in Canada when I migrated in November 2013 but I never got to use it there even once. Kasi nga may phone camera na.

Una akong nagka-iPhone 5 in May 2013. Prior to that, I was using blackberry na malabo ang kuha. Kaya nung nakatikim ako ng shots sa iPhone, my life changed forever. Sobrang nagandahan ako sa quality pagkatapos ang dali pang iupload (and edit) ang pictures sa social media. Maka-capture mo pa talaga ang moments kasi nga hawak mo palagi, unlike sa camera na kukunin mo pa from the bag etc. etc. Since then, hindi na yata ako nag-take ng pictures from a camera.

Actually, there were times naman in the past na ginusto ko ring magka-DSLR. Sino ba ang ayaw nang mas malinaw na pictures (lalo na at ang photogenic ng anak ko)? Kaso tamad akong magkalikot, hindi nga kasi ako techie na tao. Masipag akong magtake ng shots pero wala akong interes mag-ayos ng camera settings. Lalo namang walang interes sa pagkuha ng pictures ang asawa ko kaya wala akong maasahan dun. Kaya hindi ko na nga pinursue ang pagbili ng camera. Tutal solved na naman ako sa iPhone. Saka magpapalit na rin naman ako ng iPhone soon (3 years old na nga kasi ito) kaya for sure mas maganda ang camera quality ng bago.

Pero yun nga, dadating pala talaga sa point that you will have a change of heart. Na-trigger nga kasi noong super blue blood moon. Tapos nabasa ko pa sa IG ni Neri Miranda na meron siyang bagong camera na ganito from Chito. Lalo akong na-agit lol.

Picture taken from the net (credits to the owner)

I sent a picture of this camera to my husband last night and asked him to research on how much it costs in Canada. And when we talked this morning, he said it's around CAD800.00.

CES -- $800?!? Ang mahal naman!
FORD -- Ganun talaga ang presyuhan niyan. Ano ineexpect mo, $400?
CES -- Akala ko nga mga $200 lang kaloka.
FORD -- It actually has very good reviews. Gitna siya ng digital camera at DSLR. Mirrorless siya.
CES -- I don't even know what a mirrorless camera is. *kamot ulo

My husband is actually just waiting for my instruction if he will buy one. Ganun naman yun, madaling kausap lol. Lalo na kapag gadgets, bibilin niya talaga agad.

But I find $800 too much. Well it's actually not that much if we are not planning to buy a house soon. Ford has just booked an appointment to view a townhome in Aldergrove so medyo alanganin talaga ako. What if magustuhan namin yung bahay? We'll be needing a lot of cash for downpayment saka sa paglipat. Saka sana kung talagang masusulit ko yung camera, baka mamaya tamarin din ako lalo na at pagod na ako sa pagsunod pa lang sa very active kong toddler.

On the other hand, maganda rin naman na may maayos na camera sa paglipat namin, di ba? Saka what if mag-enjoy ako sa photography? Mas magandang libangan yun kaysa shopping lol. Once kasi na makabili kami ng bahay, we'll be on a very strict (my imposition) budget na kasi nga doon na mapupunta ang bulk ng sweldo ng asawa ko waaaah. So baka last chance ko na ito na magkaroon ng camera for now.

Dilemma. Dilemma. Kasalanan ng buwan yan eh haha.

O siya, pag-iisipan kong maige. Kapag sa Mother's Day o sa birthday ko ay gusto ko pa rin, I might as well give in na nga rin.