#Grateful

I will be going home in the Philippines next month and I am taking Nathan with me (Ford only has two weeks vacation so he'll just follow us in November).  But I am glad that we're be taking him back with us when we return here in Canada.

Nasabi ko ito kasi may kakilala akong taga-dito (she's a receptionist in a clinic who eventually became my FB friend) na nasa Pilipinas ngayon dala ang dalawang anak (ages 3 and 11 months). I really thought umuwi lang sila para magbakasyon. But then I saw in FB this morning na nag-start ng mag-aral ang panganay niya sa daycare. She told me iiwan muna niya ang mga bata temporarily. Oo nga pala, kasi her one-year maternity leave is almost over and she has to go back to work. Walang mag-aalaga sa mga anak niya kasi may trabaho rin ang asawa niya.

It's a common situation actually sa mga nasa Canada. The cost of daycare or having a nanny is so high that only high-paying people could afford it. Kung average lang ang salary mo, better to just quit your job and personally take full time care of your children.

But then again, mahirap mabuhay sa Canada ang isang pamilya na isa lang ang nagtatrabaho. Kaya normal na na iniiwan muna sa Pilipinas ng ilang magulang ang mga anak nila para makapagtrabaho. Kukunin na lang uli kapag medyo malaki na at hindi na gaanong alagain.

Just after I gave birth, my brother in the Philippines suggested na iwanan na lang muna namin sa kanila si Nathan so that I can work here. They know me, they know that I am not domesticated (and motherly?) enough to survive here given na may anak na ako. They know that I want to work, na ayaw kong matali lang sa bahay.

Syempre hindi papayag si Ford. Kahit ako din naman. The moment I learned that I am pregnant, I began to condition myself na sa bahay lang ako in the next few years. No choice eh.

I admit that every now and then, nabuburyo rin ako. I never dreamt of being a stay-at-home wife and mom. Modesty aside, I was an academic achiever. I always saw myself working and earning.

But this day, I am choosing to be grateful. Grateful that I have a husband who provides well for us, na hindi na namin kailangan pang iuwi sa Pinas si Nathan.

I am thankful because I won't miss any milestone in my child's life. Just last Saturday, Nathan began sitting on his own. I wanted to cry. Kung nagtatrabaho ako, hindi ko maeexperience ang kakaibang saya na naramdaman ko nung araw na yun.

My cousin and her husband, who works in UAE, are also in the Philippines now. Umuwi sila para iwanan din ang dalawang anak nila. They reasoned that they want to save up and they couldn't do that when their children are with them. Sa taas ba naman ng cost of living. School age na yung panganay nila at sobrang mahal ng tuition fee. I am not sure kung makakayanan ng pinsan ko na mawalay sa mga anak niya. I myself couldn't imagine being away from my son. Ikamamatay ko yata.

We are living a very simple life here in Edmonton. Simple yet comfortable. Again, I want to thank my husband for giving us a good life. For giving me the chance to be always there for Nathan. Not every one is as privileged as me.