#Fallen44

Another sad news from the Philippines.

Picture taken from the internet (credits to the owner)

The whole Filipino nation is mourning right now for the 44 SAF police commandos who were killed in a clash with Moro rebels in Mamasapano, Maguindanao last January 25, 2015.

I couldn't imagine the pain that the families of these fallen heroes are going through. I used to work for the Armed Forces of the Philippines Educational Benefit System Office (AFP EBSO), an office that gives scholarships to children of soldiers who died in action, hence I've met a lot of widows and children who were struggling just to make ends meet because their breadwinners were taken away from them. Their stories were heart breaking. I hope The government gives to the families of these deceased policemen all the benefits that are due them.

Justice for Fallen 44.

Regrets

We were at Walmart (Windemere) last night and I wasn't able to resist this picture frame. I've always wanted a frame for Nathan where I can put his first 12 months pictures pero kahapon lang ako nakakita ng gusto ko. I got so excited!

Then it hit me... parang wala akong maayos na one month picture ni Nathan na magandang ilagay sa frame! Still, i bought it. Magka-crop na lang ako ng picture.

Then at the Baby Section, I saw a set of monthly birthday stickers similar to this:

Picture taken from the internet (credits to the owner)

I wanted to cry that very moment. Bakit noon lang ako nakakita ng ganun sa Walmart? Palagi kami sa Walmart when I was pregnant and we bought most of our baby things there, how come na-miss ko ang stickers na ganito?

I also remembered that the other night, I saw a picture on Instagram na parang ganito. A very good monthly pictorial idea for a baby. Nalungkot din ako kasi nga hindi ko na magagawa ito for Nathan. Late na.

Picture taken from the internet (credits to the owner)

I've only been a mother for 11 weeks and I am already filled with regrets. Feeling ko ang dami kong hindi nagawa for my baby at sa pregnancy ko.

• I had very few preggy pictures.
• We never had a good "family" picture when I was pregnant.
• I didn't have a maternity shoot.
• I wasn't able to document my pregnancy, especially the earlier stages.
• I didn't have a baby shower.
• I didn't buy baby keepsakes like baby memory book, casting kits, frames, and milestone stickers.
• I didn't have a nice picture with the newborn Nathan.
• Nathan didn't have a newborn studio pictorial.
• I wasn't able to take videos of Nathan when we were still at the hospital.
• I wasn't able to conceptualize a good monthly birthday pictures for Nathan.

I don't want to blame myself entirely though. Some things were beyond my control. I had a very difficult first trimester so I wasn't able to blog for several months (that was my idea of documentation). I stayed mostly at the house so I never felt the need to buy nice but expensive maternity clothes and have my pictures taken. I didn't have a baby shower because no one here in Edmonton will throw me one. And because I quit working, I didn't have my own money to spend on some pregnancy whims like maternity shoots and baby keepsakes. My husband naman is clueless about those things kaya nahihiya akong masyadong gumastos. We've already spent a lot on the baby's basic needs eh.

But sige, now I will admit that when I was still pregnant, I was so afraid of buying so much for the baby for the fear of "jinx." I remember that when my friend Mels was pregnant with her second child, she told me that she didn't want to post so much on Facebook about her pregnancy because something might happen to the baby. I felt the same way. Ayokong magpaka-OA agad when it comes to Chicklet. I was so praning talaga that time.

I kept on telling myself that had I been in the Philippines during my pregnancy, I would have enjoyed it so much. I can buy everything I want, have my pictures taken every day, experience a baby shower, have somebody else to take Nathan's pictures and videos after I gave birth, etc. My mistake is not contextualizing my pregnancy here in Edmonton. I should have planned and acted based on our current situation.

Hay, regrets regrets. But I guess I've learned my lessons now. My son is already 2 1/2 months old and I realized that I couldn't bring back time. Sadly, I can no longer take a good picture of his one-month self. I realized that I am dealing with a human being now, hindi ko puwedeng i-delay ang mga puwede kong gawin. I need to plan ahead. And I have to enjoy my every moment with him kasi hindi siya bata forever. I am lucky because I am given the chance to be with him 24/7. I should be grateful.

Kung ako ang masusunod, si Nathan na siguro ang only baby ko. But if we'll be gifted with another bundle of joy, alam ko na ang gagawin ko.

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Nathan Anak, I am so sorry for all my shortcomings. I know that I am not that bad in terms of mothering you but I feel that I could do more, could have done more. I am not sure what will you like or be like in the future that is why I want to do everything for you now, para akong regrets kung sakali. Promise, mommy will make it up to you.

Mommy-look-alike

For the first time, sinuotan ni Ford si Nathan ng ganito.

Mukha raw babae, sabi niya.

I took some pictures and when I am browsing them, I suddenly realized that my soon looks 'familiar.' I checked on my FB account and searched for my old picture.

Hala, ako nga ang kamukha ni Nathan! That picture was taken on my first birthday.

I honestly never expected na 'matapang' ang dugo ko. All along, I thought my son would 100% look like his dad - both in face and color. But it turned out na kakulay ko siya! He has some of his dad's features (i.e. chubby cheeks, nose holes) and many people tell us that they are look-alike. Pero sa tingin talaga namin ni Pod, mas ako ang kamukha niya.

Oh well, it doesn't really matter. Pero nakakatuwa rin pala magkaroon ng mini-me hahaha! =)

Nathan @ 2 Months

Thirteen is my new favorite number. And I am so excited to welcome the 13th day of every month because that means another 'birthday' celebration for Nathan!

January 13, 2015. As usual, it was just another party for three. But I told Mylene and Cecil that we'll invite them some time in summer for Nathan's monthly birthday. We just couldn't do that now because it's winter and our house is a big mess. I am also still recovering (yeah, I am taking it soooo slow) and I can't host a party yet.

My two-month old looks so big na on this picture noh? I myself was shocked! It's only been two months but he doesn't look that baby anymore! In fact, he already wore the Baby Mickey shirt which we thought he would wear this summer pa or when we go home in Pinas. It was his first time to wear a t-shirt and he looked so cute!

Anyway, what excites me the most about this day was the cake of course! I think I did pretty well on his first month cake so I have to live with the expectations haha!

But since Ford and I aren't really into eating cakes (in fact, ni hindi nga namin natikman yung first cake), I thought of buying just a slice. Sa Safeway kami nakabili for only $3.

I wasn't able to find a nice cake topper so I just asked Ford to have Nathan's picture printed in their office. I posted it on a card board para matigas saka ko itinusok sa cake. The result is this:

Simple yet 'personalized.' I want my son to know later on that in my own little ways, I tried to make things special for him.

This is the close-up look pala of the picture on the cake. My son's so adorable! #biasedmom

Since Nathan's second month fell on a Tuesday (and we just had buffet dinner the day before for our 3rd wedding anniversary), I just asked Ford to buy pancit palabok and crispy pata at Manila Grill Express. Nagustuhan kasi namin yun the last time we went there. The pork giniling was cooked by yours truly.

Almost all of our plates are Corelle and I've grown tired of them. I wanted something colorful plating for my baby's handa but expensive dinner wares are not on the budget yet. Thankfully, I found some cheap stoneware plates and bowls and glasses at Dollar Tree! Ayan, pati sa table setting ay excited na rin ako!

More than the superficiality of celebrating a monthly birthday, Ford and I are really grateful that our son is growing well. Health wise, we never had any major 'concern' for him. He seems happy and healthy.

I noticed that he started smiling a lot and 'interacting' with us when he was just five weeks old (December 23 to be exact, thanks to my hobby of taking pictures and documenting Nathan's every move!). We were impressed. Physically, he's quite a big boy with nice flawless skin, chubby body, and adorable little face. A lot of people were telling us that he doesn't look like two months only. He can even hold his head steady na. We are very very proud of him!

Thank you for being such a good boy, anak! Keep it up! We are so looking forward to your 3rd month birthday! We love you!

A book for Chicklet

I felt so excited when the nurse at West Jasper Place Public Health Center (where Nathan got vaccinated last January 22) handed me this bag containing a book, a cd, and some library information for Nathan. This is what I love about having a child here in Canada, alagang-alaga talaga ng gobyerno. Ang suwerte ng mga bata dito!

Ooops, I realized that I haven't really bought any book yet for Chicklet. I would have to start buying soon. I am currently a stay-at-home mom so I do not have any excuse to not teach my son well. I was an educator once upon a time, actually. Sa college students nga lang. I know that teaching a child is different but I promise to do my best. I love my son and I will make him a smart boy.

I told Ford that we should pay a visit to the library soon. I've been here in Edmonton for almost 1 year and 3 months now but I haven't been to one. I love reading, but I admit that in the last couple of years I don't get to read a lot of books anymore. I still read a lot -- sa internet nga lang. So I guess if I want to instill the love of reading to Nathan, kailangang magbasa din uli ako ng libro.

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It was my first time to see an actual public last January 16 at Mill Woods Town Centre. I was surprised that it was located in a 'mall.' Kung wala siguro akong anak, madalas akong tatambay dun.

Nathan's 2nd Check-up

It was Nathan's second check-up with his pediatrician yesterday (January 26, 2015). Our appointment was at 9am so we were already at the parking of Misericordia Community Hospital at around 8:35pm. Thankfully, the weather was still "good" (approximately -2 degrees). It's really hard to bring the baby out when it's too cold and/or snowing.

It was still early but the parking lot near was already near full. I saw this sign and told Ford to park there. He was hesistant and we 'debated' for a moment:

FORD -- Pang-expectant mothers lang yan oh!
CES -- Haler, nakita mo naman may picture ng dalawang bata! Pwede yan sa may baby.
FORD -- Eh expectant mothers nga lang ang nakalagay.
CES -- Sus, eh di sasabihin ko buntis ako! Saka haler, wala namang security guard na sisita noh!

Yep, unlike in the Philippines, there are no roaming security guards here in Edmonton/Canada. People act on the virtue of trust. Imagine yourself paying the parking fees all by yourself, without any one checking if your declared time of stay at the parking lot is true or not?

After paying $4 for a one-hour stay, Pod put the ticket on the car's dashboard. Para sa random checking daw. Pero parang wala pa akong nabalitaang Security na nag-check haha!

Anyway, back to Nathan's check-up.

We were called by the nurse just a few minutes after the receptionist has checked us in. Since it was already our second time there, we already knew what to do. We have to undress Nathan because his whole body will be 'scrutinized' by the doctor.

Whenever we are out, it's Ford who is in charge of Nathan. He's the one carrying him, feeding him, changing his nappies, and dressing/undressing him. And my role is just to take pictures, lol!

The nurse first weighed Nathan. He is now almost 6 kilos! Big boy daw. I am so happy! I am relatively 'big' woman and I of course want my baby to be big too!

After weighing, his height was measured. Whew, almost 60cm already! Ford is only 5'9 and I am hoping that our son gets taller than he is. Kahit kasing tangkad lang ng mga brothers namin na around 5'11.

Nathan has a big head as well. His head circumference as of yesterday is 40cm.

After the routine weighing and questioning of the nurse (like how much milk we are feeding him now, or if we have other concerns for the baby, etc.), we were directed to a room where we will wait for the doctor.

Ito ang practice dito. The doctor doesn't have his 'own' room where he solely checks his patients. In a clinic, maraming rooms at doon pinapupunta ang mga pasyente para antayin ang mga doktor. Each room is complete, may mga exam bed, chairs and tables, lavatory, hand sanitizer, tissue, etc.

Just like Nathan's first check-up, the doctor was late again. He came at around 9:40am na yata. Haha, we were worried about the parking. We only paid for an hour. Oh well, kasalanan naman ng doctor noh.

If we choose another doctor/clinic, hindi na kami magbabayad ng parking. But then I like Nathan's pediatrician na. He was assigned to us before we left the hospital (noong nanganak ako) and I kinda like him. Aside from being a specialist, he really checks on the baby thoroughly eh.

The doctor confirmed that Nathan is indeed a big boy. He just talked fast (with an Indian accent) so I didn't get everything that he said. Pero may minention siya that Nathan belong to the 70-75th percentile sa weight o height.

He asked us if we have any special concerns on the baby. To be honest, wala naman. He is feeding well and has not been sick. He was also immunized last Thursday (January 22) and so far wala namang side effect.

The doctor then proceeded on 'inspecting' Nathan's body. Meron siyang kasamang residente kaya iyon ang kinakausap niya at hindi kami. We felt relieved every time he would say "normal" (pronounced as 'nermal' haha!) sa bawat body part ni Nathan na tinitingnan niya. Nakakatensyon talaga pag check-up ng anak mo, feeling mo mahihimatay ka kapag may hindi magandang mapapansin ang doktor.

We were so thankful when the doctor finally told us that everything is fine and that he has no concern for Nathan at this time. Our next appointment with him is after two months na (on March 19).

Ford and I are so happy. Our son is in good health and is growing normally. Keep it up, Nathan! We love you and we are so proud of you!

New iPhone for Peechur Peechur

It all happened so fast. I am now a proud owner of  iPhone 6 plus!

Ford 'fell' in the snow a couple of days ago which resulted to the broken screen of his one-year-old Nexus (because it was on his pocket). Having it fixed is not an option really because it would cost a lot, probably $200.

He has long been telling me that he wants an iPhone. You see, my husband gets tired of gadgets so easily. And now he's got an excuse to get a new one.

But a good father and hubby that he is, he just let me have the new iPhone. He said it's me who needs it more because of Nathan. So that I can take better pictures of our son. He insisted on just using my Moto G phone.

January 24, 2015 (WEM)

I actually do not need an iPhone 6 yet. My iPhone 5 is still quite reliable in taking photos. I bought that iPhone six months before I migrated to Canada but I wasn't able to use it here. It's not compatible daw with their system, even though it's open line (that is why I advise people who are coming here to just get a new phone unit here, wag ng magdala). I ended up having the 'cheap' Moto G for my mobile services kasi sayang naman kung dalawa pa ang iPhone ko. I used my iPhone 5 na lang solely for taking pictures, instagramming, and surfing.

I am contented with the quality of photos that iPhone 5 brings and I am not even tempted to replace it yet. But who am I to refuse an iPhone 6 plus? Hahaha!

I am not a techie person. Hindi ko namamaximize ang features ng iPhone sa totoo lang. I don't even play games. Pero susulitin ko talaga sa pag-peechur peechur kay Nathan! =)

By the way, I'll still use my iPhone 5 syempre. Saka iyon din ang gagamitin kong phone pag-uwi sa Pilipinas.