Friday, February 15, 2019

Be wary of so-called friends

I honestly miss having friends around. I actually already have two friends here but I seldom see them, kapag may birthday lang. Aside from us living in different cities, I honestly don't think we have common interests. Siguro sobrang taas lang din ng benchmark ko sa friendship. Kasi nga ang saya-saya ng samahang iniwan namin sa Edmonton, hindi talaga ako maka-move on.

Anyway, in one children's party thrown by a friend here, I met this girl who seemed very very nice. May anak din siyang (almost) 3 years old na boy. Nakiupo siya sa amin at nakipagkwentuhan. I instantly liked her. She looked educated, soft-spoken, decent. Gusto ko siyang maging kaibigan talaga.

I later learned na acquaintance lang din siya ng friend ko na host ng party. Nagkakilala lang daw sila sa Toys R Us and my friend invited her to the party. I was surprised, kasi why would she bother to go to a party of someone she barely knows? I mean unlike us, she's fully settled na dito sa Vancouver and I am sure she has family and friends and co-workers here. Hindi siya deprived sa social gatherings. She reasoned na gusto lang din daw niyang maka-attend ng kiddie parties ang anak niya. I accepted that.

Before we parted that night, she asked for my contact number. Sabi ko invite niya na lang ako sa Facebook which she instantly did.

After a few days, she PM'd me para mangumusta. Christmas season noon and I thought she was just being extra friendly. Pero syempre nagtataka na ako kung bakit niya ako mine-message. I believe in the stages of friendship, gradual ang pagdevelop niyan. Wala akong makitang reason para imessage niya ako ng ganun na wala namang specific na dahilan o tanong man lang. Basta plain kumusta lang.

After some time, ayun nangumusta na naman. Papasok daw siya sa office nila. Tapos ayun na nga, nagtanong na rin siya if I know someone who wants to do some part-time work sa bagong office na itatayo ng company nila. Syempre itatanong ko kung ano ba nature ng job niya (and why she can bring her son to work). Brokerage firm daw, tumutulong sa may mga utang sa credit cards, o bumili ng ng bahay, etc.

Ayun, gets ko na! Network pala ang purpose ng pakikipagkaibigan. Kung may kilala daw akong nangangailang ng services nila eh sabihin ko lang. I politely said yes, na irerefer ko sa kanya kapag may kilala ako.

I knew right there and then that I will stop replying to her. Wala rin naman siyang mapapala sa akin. Wala nga akong friends dito sa BC eh, at lalong wala kaming utang sa credit card noh.

Kaya ayan dedma na ako sa kanya kahit panay ang papansin at pangungumusta niya.


Sorry, pero user-friendly talaga ang tingin ko sa kanya. And I refuse to be used.

I can't blame people like her, though. Syempre trabaho nila yan, ang maghanap ng clients. Kaya pala siya nakikipagkilala at nagpupunta sa parties ng mga Pinoy dito eh para makahanap ng contacts.

Siguro nga kailangan ko ng madala haha. Sa edad at puntong ito ng buhay ko at sa lugar na kinalalagyan ko, it will be hard to find quality friendships. Yung genuine at totoo. I have to be contented sa company ng anak at asawa ko kasi kami lang talagang tatlo ang magkakasama dito. I actually felt guilty pa nga kasi bakit ba naghahanap pa ako ng "life" outside our family eh ok naman kami. I have friends naman in Pinas and Edmonton na palagi kong nakaka-chat kung gusto ko ng ibang kausap.

I've subscribed to some Youtube vloggers who are based here in Canada and I realized na hindi naman din sila mabarkada at maraming kaibigan. Palaging silang magpapamilya lang din ang magkakasama. all the time. Ganun naman nga kasi ang buhay dito, trabaho at bahay/pamilya lang.

I am still hoping to find good friends here someday. Pero hindi na ako magmamadali. Dadating yun kung talagang dadating (naks, parang love lang lol!).

----------------------------------
UPDATE -- March 12, 2018

I brought Nathan to Central City's play area last Friday, March 8. There was this Filipina with three kids na katabi ko na nakipagkuwentuhan sa akin because she heard that I was talking to my son in Tagalog. Talagang mega chika siya sa akin and I was starting to believe na genuinely friendly talaga siya. Kaso after several minutes of talking, ayun I found out na nagpapart-time siya as insurance agent. Waaah! Di pa kasi ako natuto. Talagang nawalan ako ng ganang makipagkwentuhan (kaso nabigay ko na ang phone number ko). Buti na lang nag-aya na rin ang mga anak niya pauwi at saktong dumating din yung friend ko.

No comments:

Post a Comment